Me and my life... musings by Caroline Worsley

Cheers God!

2006-09-26T05:38:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I've blogged, but hey, better late than never!
We're still waiting to get internet sorted in our house - hopefully this week.

You know what, I'm loving living in my house. I've got 2 housemates, tho one hasn't moved in yet. It's such a lovely house and my housemate is wonderful! I couldn't be in a happier house. It also turns out that my housemate loves cooking - she made some chocolate brownies yesterday which were absolutely delicious! Mmm

Today has been one of those days where you just don't know how it's going to pan out. I guess you could call it a "go with the flow" day. I was meant to be in a clinic this morning, and when I arrived I was informed that it was cancelled. So I went up to one of the wards to try and get a patient for my project. Unfortunately I couldn't find anything. Anyhoo, I went down to theatre to join my consultant and it turned out that one of the registrars had called me to let me know about an interesting patient who was on one of the obstetric wards. So instead of staying in theatre, I went up to the ward and saw this lady. She was really lovely - had given birth in the early hours of this morning, but even though she was so tired, was happy to talk to me. So I got my patient for my project! It was cool cos I had asked God to help me get a patient and he gave me one!

Then as I was in the office looking at her notes, I overheard one of the midwives talking about a lady who was due to give birth to twins on Monday. Now I'm on labour week next week so I asked if I could be present at the birth. I went in to ask the lady and she was quite happy! So I'm going to see the birth of twins on Monday!!! Yay! I may be there all day and night, but I don't care. I'm really very excited. God is so good to me.

And the other thing is, that there is a clinic this afternoon of the same thing I was due to see this morning, so I'm not missing out on that either! Nice one God.

I'm reading this book at the moment called "God Chasers" by Tommy Tenney. It's really good and it talks about the pursuit of God's manifested presence. It makes my heart feel hungry to read the book, which is, I guess, a good thing. I was thinking about the concept of hunger. When we're physically hungry we can get grumpy and out of sorts with people, well I know I can. It's the same when we're hungry for God, having not spent enough time with him. I know that I'm not spending enough time with him when I get grumpy and anxious and introspective. The annoying thing is, it takes me quite a while sometimes to go from realisation of the situation to doing something about it. But, man it feels good when I'm satisfied! I spent the evening with Jesus on Sunday and I so needed it. I felt so much better and lighter in myself afterwards. I need to be more disciplined in doing that.

As for blokey, I'm still waiting on God about that. I would love something to happen between us, not that I even know him that well, but I need to submit it to God time and again. If it'll happen it'll happen. And if not him, there will be someone even better, tho I can't quite imagine that at the moment.

In the words of a song I was listening to last night:
Take a look at yourself, do you want to be free?

Complicated

2006-09-07T05:59:00.000-07:00

My word, people are a complicated species! They get up to all sorts of things, for who knows what reasons! I was in a clinic this morning and there was a complicated lady who had ended up with an infection from her husband, who speaks very little if any english at all, who was pregnant and in her words "wanted to kill him". How can people get married if they cannot communicate? Oh well, there's none as queer as folk!

On a positive note, I really enjoyed the clinic and got to see patients by myself which was great. I'm starting to feel like I will be able to do this job when I qualify! Just need to get some practical skills more sorted and practiced. Hopefully that won't take too much time.

Another thing, there's this guy that I kinda like. He goes to another university, so actual chance of anything happening is probably quite slim. But I guess if it's in God's will, it'll happen and if its not, then I've had fun dreaming and there'll be someone even better! Tho at the moment that option seems a little impossible. He's so lovely. He's taller than me, I think he's gorgeous and we seem to have quite a bit in common. It'd be so nice if something happened, but I'm reckoning that someone else will probably get there first, someone who is more outgoing and flirtatious than me. Maybe I'm being a little pessimistic? Or am I just being real? I don't know. We'll see what happens.

Anyway, don't frown because you never know who is falling in love with your smile!

God bless
C x

Ladies and Babies and sore wristies!

2006-09-01T07:59:00.000-07:00

I'm back in Sheffield this week and am finally moving into my new house tomorrow! I've quite enjoyed being nomadic, but it'll be so nice to stay in one place for longer than 5 weeks!

I'm also starting my obs and gynae placement on monday which is fortunately in Sheffield. We've had a week of lectures this week which I've really enjoyed and we're let loose on monday. It's going to be interesting, but I've got to get over my confidence issues with regards to procedures and asking seemingly awkward questions. I guess it's a privilege, in a weird kind of way, but it's going to be something to get used to. I've got a really nice consultant which is good. We have to see at least 5 normal deliveries so lots of babies! Its gonna be great. I just hope I can handle all the blood that I'm going to see.

One annoying thing this week is that my hands have been hurting more than usual. I know it's because I have been doing a lot of writing, but its not nice to wake up with sore hands. I am being treated for arthritis and am doing very well, but I always notice a change in temperature when I wake up -> increased pain in the morning. Oh well. I will go to a northern uni!

It's an interesting concept this whole issue of being in control of a medical condition. I've heard people talk about not talking about a condition as if it belongs to you ie, My arthritis, but sometimes its hard to do so. I agree with those people to some degree as it's easier to combat it when you look at it as something that is attacking you and you have to fight it. I think it's a losing battle when you start seeing it as part of you.

Many people would have an opinion. I just try and live as if I do not have arthritis, and if any pain comes then deal with it. Fortunately I'm in a position where I can do it, as I only see the doctor once or twice a year about it, so it's easier for me to do this.

Look up, look on, look around. With every looking, love. xx

Weddings...

2006-08-26T09:32:00.000-07:00

I went to a wedding today of someone who I grew up with in my church. It was a really lovely wedding, with everyone dressed really nicely and the bridal party looked stunning! I was very glad that I could go.

Every now and again though, I have a confidence issue especially with my appearance, and today was one of those times. I'm not very confident in my choice of outfit, because I have seen so many photographs of me and just thought "what were you thinking?" I'd really like to develop my own style, one that I could be proud of. But it'd have to be a trusted friend...

The other thing is that song (Single) by Natasha Bedingfield is great, but its so not true for me at the moment. I try my hardest to forget about the whole getting married thing, but its difficult when a lot of people round you are getting together with people, getting married and you're not.
One would think I'd be used to being single by now, but I'm not. Oh well. I know there is a right time for everything under the sun. Well I wish them well and am very happy for the newly wedded couple.

Ok rant over.

Feeling musical

2006-08-23T07:30:00.000-07:00

I decided to try and write a song today. I'm not very proficient at it yet, but it was some of what was on my heart. It is a song which describes how God has shown himself to be and some of His promises which I have experienced to be true. All of God's promises are true, but these are some which have been particularly meaningful for me. The words are as follows:

FATHER

Father, precious Father
You are my Father
I am your child
I love You, Abba Father
Draw me closer
You’ve won my heart

-------------------

Today and every day
You’re faithful, gracious and true
You are unchanging
You’re love’s unfailing
I worship You

Today and every day
You’re working in my heart
You’re my provider
You are my healer
I worship You

Today and every day
Your holy presence surrounds me
You’ll never leave me
Never forsake me
I worship You

Well there you have it! It was interesting because someone the other day asked me if I had written any songs and I just came out with "oh, I can't write songs". I was thinking about that today and I realised that I was just limiting myself. We always limit ourselves when we use the word "can't". Well understandably there are some things that we obviously cannot do, but when it comes to trying things, I want to be the kind of person who only says "can't" only after failing when I've tried my utmost first.

Keep reaching up and reaching out. Love the one in front of you.

Love C x

How refreshing!

2006-08-21T14:46:00.000-07:00

Hello!

I'm fairly new to this blog type thing, so you'll have to be patient with me as I get used to it!

I'm just back from a week's holiday which was such an amazing time. A few months ago I asked God for a holiday because as far as I was aware, most of my friends already had plans or were not going away when I wanted to. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I ended up staying with a friend in the lovely sunny seaside town of Swanage. It just so happens that her mum owns a lovely guesthouse/hotel about 2 minutes walk from the beach! God is so good! The weather was lovely and I even managed to get sunburned. I was so chilled out and had a great time.

On the first Sunday of the week I drove down from my parent's house in Surrey, so was quite a long journey. Anyway, we went to church that night and it was amazing. It was only a 45 minute service but that didn't matter! God brought such release to my heart in worship that night, a feeling that I haven't had for quite some time.

At the end of the week I drove from Swanage up to Kidderminster to visit some friends. I was on route to Manchester for a wedding, which was, incidently, really lovely. On that Friday night whilst with friends in Kidderminster, we went to Revival Fires church in Dudley for their Friday night meeting. It was a totally amazing time. I walked in the door and just felt that God was there. I loved it! He ministered to me so deeply whilst I was there through the people there.

Earlier this year I spent 6 weeks in Dudley at RF, so I knew the people quite well. I spoke to one lady there who I had got to know and explained about how I have found the last few months fairly difficult with several issues. It was amazing because she spoke prophetically into that situation and I just felt so loved by her and by God! Isn't he good! I just love how He sets stuff up like that and knows exactly what we need when we need it.

Know that the Lord is good. Keep your eyes fixed not on things that are seen, but things that are unseen. For that which is seen is temporary, whilst that which is unseen is eternal.